foodnun:

notahoe:

I always get messages comparing me to this guy: 

Guess what he does for a living? GO AHEAD AND JUST GUESS

PORN

(via ieatmyeyebrows)

rnilkbreath:

eaaasy  tips on how to tell your girlfriend to lose weight:

1. punch yourslef RIGHT in the dick.
2. if you still feel like telling her to lose weight, repeat step one

(via daft-hunk)

urbancatfitters:

i’m such a shitty friend and i act like i’ll be a good friend and i’m like oh i’m here for you but then i’m tired all the time and i don’t text back and i might not even say hi to you if i see you because i don’t like socially interacting and everyone annoys me and i’m so sorry

(via princesspyrope)

concernedresidentofbakerstreet:

jaybird-in-the-tardis:

in my social studies class we were talking about laws and shit and one boy goes “Why is rape illegal? Don’t girls like dominance?” and the smallest girl in class got up and socked him in the jaw and said “Shouldn’t you like that? Don’t you like acting tough?” and everyone got quiet for a second and then slow clapped it out for her

(via princesspyrope)

tupacabra:

i feel bad for twins that aren’t equally attractive

(via daft-hunk)

bekn:

in my family i’m the ‘computer whiz’ cause i understand that when u open a new window the previous one isn’t gone 

(via princesspyrope)

alfredfkirkland:

alfredfkirkland:

hey guess what im drawing it starts with j and ends with ohnkat

yes thats exactly it

(via princesspyrope)

rosaparking:

if u wouldnt kiss me that is fine, like totally cool just know that

1. i fucked yr mom
2. ur fuckin loser and i fuck ur mom

(via princesspyrope)

getoffmybloghoe:

11 year old voice: why do i have to make my bed when i’m just going to sleep in it again tonight 

(via oomshi)