I always get messages comparing me to this guy:
Guess what he does for a living? GO AHEAD AND JUST GUESS
eaaasy tips on how to tell your girlfriend to lose weight:
- punch yourslef RIGHT in the dick.
- if you still feel like telling her to lose weight, repeat step one
i’m such a shitty friend and i act like i’ll be a good friend and i’m like oh i’m here for you but then i’m tired all the time and i don’t text back and i might not even say hi to you if i see you because i don’t like socially interacting and everyone annoys me and i’m so sorry
in my social studies class we were talking about laws and shit and one boy goes “Why is rape illegal? Don’t girls like dominance?” and the smallest girl in class got up and socked him in the jaw and said “Shouldn’t you like that? Don’t you like acting tough?” and everyone got quiet for a second and then slow clapped it out for her
i feel bad for twins that aren’t equally attractive
in my family i’m the ‘computer whiz’ cause i understand that when u open a new window the previous one isn’t gone
hey guess what im drawing it starts with j and ends with ohnkat
yes thats exactly it
“According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate beings condemning them to spend their lives in search for their other halves.”
~Plato’s The Symposium.
if u wouldnt kiss me that is fine, like totally cool just know that
1. i fucked yr mom
2. ur fuckin loser and i fuck ur mom